Tag: parenting

Teach ’em well

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You know you’re a mom when you now drive a Volvo and wear Birkenstocks. It me.

I was the passenger in a minor fender bender while on a work trip and I promptly returned home and deemed my tiny manual vehicle unfit for caravanning a newborn. It simply did not feel safe. Did I need to go top-of-the-line-safety-vehicle? Probably not. But this crossover is sexy AF, caters to my design-obsessed Scandi-loving soul and blends function and beauty. The decision did not come lightly but it did come fast! Within two weeks, I test-drove, researched, negotiated, and purchased the SUV of my growing family desires. Sure, I miss my pistachio-colored zippy stick-shift a whole lot but it’s funny how quickly the mindset changes to meet a new life chapter. When you’re so ready for aspects of your life you never thought would change, change, it feels like they’re more aligned with a new part of you. It’s like getting a business casual outfit to dress the part of a client meeting when you’re a tee-shirt and jeans kind of girl.

Oh yes, I also got Birkenstock clogs. Who am I even?! Sharing this to further paint my picture of new motherhood. I previously tried on Birkenstock sandals and found them vastly uncomfortable for my flat feet but thought I’d give them another go – this time in my right size, width, and a different footbed. I’m hooked. I rolled up to a new mom meet-up in my Volvo, Birks, baseball cap, and tote bag and had a moment where I felt like a mom (but like, a cool mom). I needed these slip-ons in my life a few months back when I could barely bend over my pregnant belly to put shoes on and then again two weeks ago post surgery but hey, better late than never! The ease! The comfort! The (divisive) style!

Anyway, all that to say times have changed in more ways than one! I’m a safety and comfort girl who likes to think she’s still chic! Who’s still got it! My mom identity is evolving (even though a guy on the street today was convinced I was a teacher and yelled after me “teach ’em well”. If by that he means show the good people of Oakland how you can be functional and cool, I will do, good sir.

You Did it, Sis.

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We are officially parents of the sweetest baby girl. Tired, running on empty, and so incredibly happy that she’s here. It’s wild to think that just two weeks ago this tiny human was in my body and after three thrown-to-the-wild-and-wonderful nights, we bring this baby girl home with us to keep forever.

This morning is the first that the timing has lined up where she’s ready to be put down when mom and dad are just waking up. So we did what any new parents would do. We made two pots of coffee, pulled out our laptops and he played a favorite computer game and I scrolled Anthropologie’s website and tidied up. Strange how the smallest morning routines feel absolutely luxurious in the presence of a newborn. On a pre-baby Sunday morning, I might get restless and crave to do something else but today, I could revel in this seemingly mundane task for a while.

I will preface this small feeling of freedom to take back some autonomy with the fact that we are loving this newborn life and learning about our daughter, how to soothe her, meet her needs, and find balance as best as we can. It’s an incredible shift from our life just two weeks ago when we anticipated her arrival without fully knowing the sheer amount of joy and sleeplessness that awaited us. Funny how much preparation mentally and physically I did for pregnancy and birth to be handed a newborn (who was instantly crying and ready to eat – my girl!) and have had little preparation of what was to unfold. I think a lot of it is instinctual (or so I feel) and though you can prepare your own body having known it for 30-something years, this new human is figuring it all out with you!

Baby R is sweet, intentional, pretty easy-going, and strong willed. These are things about her I knew in the womb as well and it’s so funny to see her live up to her in-utero personality. Her movements were strong yet deliberate, she remained stubbornly breech, and whenever I needed some reassurance that she was doing okay, she gave it to me. She hit all the pregnancy milestones right on cue which gave mom and dad so much peace to know that our baby (we didn’t know it was a girl at the time) was tracking beautifully. Now, she’s here, healthy, perfect in our eyes, and continuing to grow every day by the looks of her adorably filled-out cheeks and arms that are starting to show some creases where there weren’t creases before.

Her sweet eyes beg for food or connection and melt our hearts, she squeaks and hoots in her sleep (raptor meets owl), her breathing becomes labored in anticipation of food or while dreaming. She finds comfort in her hands by her head, has a strong right leg kick, and the softest duck fuzz hair I’ve ever felt. Her eyelashes are getting longer, her lips more pink, and her cowlick more prominent. She’s the most beautiful girl to us and we feel so lucky she chose us to be her parents.

Though I’m sad to no longer be pregnant and to see my belly soften back down slowly, I look over and see this tiny miracle staring back at me. This journey can be sad and thrilling, we can mourn the loss of couple-only time and be so excited that this angel baby is here. I can feel disheveled and the most at peace in my life. I can be stressed and okay at the pillows thrown everywhere for feeding, back-support, napping, and cuddling. The dualities are so fascinating at this stage in life and I have to remind myself that opposing thoughts can be held concurrently. This is something I struggle with and have learned to embrace these past couple weeks. Living in the yes and has been rewarding, challenging, beautiful, and complex.

As we welcome this addition to our family, I am also welcoming a new mindset – one that is open and soft, patient and kind, okay with hard and rewarding and knowing that these new emotions and sensations can come in pairs. As someone who likes a clear answer for life’s difficult questions, living in the best-for-right-now or sounds-good-to-me is where I’m at right now. I’m doing my best to be present, live intuitively, have grace and patience with myself, my partner, and my baby girl. So like the woman at the post-office said to me today, you did it, sis – and I’ll continue to do it.