The topic of being either a maximizer or a satisficer has come up a lot recently. Or maybe it’s just I’m hyper aware of my maximizing tendencies, even in the face of a jukebox.

I’m dating a great guy. There, I said it. N and I create wagers based on new activities we enjoy together – billiards to start, then worked our way up to mini golf, bocce and pending tennis match (his win, I’m sure though I’ll probably rock a better skirt). Waiting for our turn at billiards and dodging the sways of a drunken couple convinced their new-found sport of pool was “better than sex” (their words, not ours), we spotted a jukebox. N found a couple tracks instantly that he wanted to play for the bar. His choices were super solid – something 90s R&Bish. (I mean, keeper, amiriiteee?!) What I noticed more than his song selection, though, was his ability to choose a couple songs, be completely content with them based on our dual consensus and be done. My first thought besides What on earth happened to Marcy Playground was What other songs are on that jukebox? And there I was, trying to maximize the sh*t out of a perfectly good jukebox.

This isn’t new for me. I’ve always been the type to wonder if what’s in front of me is the best thing out there. If I truly have nailed it. Is there another option, song, shoe, relationship that would be the best? Would it make me happier, increase the quality of life that much more? Is good enough settling? If that grass is greener, how do I get a piece o’ dat?! And so it goes, exhausting, often unnecessary, grueling and mentally draining.

Satisficers make decisions given the information at hand and go with it. They find something that feels right intuitively and use that gut feeling as enough of a reason to move forth confidently, then letting it go. Maximizers may feel that same gut instinct but feel the need to rationalize it on another level seeking another source of validation. Even after making a decision, that hunt for the “right” way may continue causing second guessing. Now, it’s not to say that there’s a time and a place for Maximizers. They are avid researchers, yelp reviewers and readers. They often make sound decisions based on a variety of well-developed thought and the choice is often a result of both good feels and fact.

So how can we blend the two to maximize create balance of thought and action? When does it serve to maximize and when is it best to go with the flow a bit more with the information at hand?

I’m still in search of an answer but from what I found is this – the worst decision is not making one. I think what maximizers are challenged with is mistaking quick decision making for impulsivity. Being impulsive is scary, uninformed, a loose cannon. But it isn’t. How many times do we feel the right decision right away only to make an exhausting trek to circle back to the same solution? Maybe we know more than we think we do but have trouble seeing it or acknowledging ourselves for actually instinctively knowing what truly is good for us.

I find I am much more of a satisficer when there is someone else in the equation – someone to stand next to at the jukebox or hover over yelp with. I bend and let go a bit more when I see the ease it brings to social situations, dinner plans and trip itineraries. I find a Maximizer’s value when it comes to Amazon purchases, finding a good cafe to post up in, Christmas gifts. I am what the internet would describe as a Casual Maximizer. So how do I incorporate more of that go with the flow into my day-to-day when it’s just me and my brain?

What I’ve been trying to pay more attention to is where my energy is going. If I feel drained, it’s already gone too far and it’s time to take immediate action. What I’m working on is to identify the tendency to go down a rabbit hole before I’ve got a toe in. I want to give myself the opportunity to make an active choice to either maximize the situation, research, deep-dive, read those reviews or just choose to make a decision and let it go. What does this situation call for? What is actually needed of me? How much of myself can I/do I want to give to this topic?

Awareness, friends. Become aware and you then have the power to keep things the way they are or do something differently. At the end of the day, a decision and its consequences are feedback. That’s it! Make a great decision, awesome. Try to do that again. Make a not so groovy one, choose differently next time. Without beating yourself up kthanks.