There comes a time in every adult woman’s life where she wants to cry in a bathroom stall for no other reason than things were going so well until they weren’t. Last week I had one of those days. It ended, as all bad days do. But not before staying at work an extra two hours when you had a show to go to and spilling mustard on a pair of your nicest pants.

Mustard happens. But so do days like this. It wasn’t until I got out of the bathroom stall that I had a little heart-to-heart with myself. Time to re-frame. It wasn’t a bad day. In fact, it was actually very productive. Busy as hell and though I had to miss out on spin class for a half-hour-meeting-turned-two, I managed to meet my deadlines, run a few miles a minute and half faster than my average pace, shower and pull myself together for a much-needed and highly anticipated comedy show with one of my favorite people.

This is when I step out of my own way.

Sitting in a cafe 27 minutes before closing, sipping an Americano with splash of warm milk and topped with cinnamon and a couple squares of 88% dark chocolate, it is decided that shit happens and then the shit clears. Sometimes you just get so tired about worrying about the little stuff that the big picture become overwhelmingly beautiful and the little stuff just falls away, even if just for the time being. Being tired can also be fixed by said Americano. Works like a charm.

Jack Kerouac said…

Be in love with your life. Every minute of it.

…and I have to give the man a slow clap for this one (among many other things too but especially this). What does it take to be in love with every moment of life?

After a very much needed, slow and deep yoga practice yesterday (you know when you’re super bummed your sweaty vinyasa class has a sub and you miss getting your glisten on? That wasn’t the case. I was stoked for a sub.) I felt that pure post -savasana bliss. I walked around Whole Foods in a yogic (that’s a word) haze, mindfully reaching for that perfectly-ripe-in-two-days avocado and gracefully accepting the price tag of my kombuca. It’s amazing and disheartening how something so welcomed into my perception – this lightness – can be gone after such a seemingly insignificant occurrence. I get uprooted, I loose my cool, something small becomes big and then I have to work diligently to get back to my bliss, my namaste, my big-picture-it’s-all-good feels.

Ways to not cry over spilled milk/mustard/kombuca/ayurvedic tea:

1. Take in the situation. Okay, so that happened. Could it have been prevented? Maybe, but it still happened and it’s done.
2. Take care of yourself. What can you do to offer yourself a little self-care in this situation? Do you need to clean up a mess, communicate an emotional reaction to the situation at hand, set things down and take a step back, take a breath? Find what you need and do that. If you’re like me, you may not know instantly. Address the not knowing, say out loud I don’t know and come back to it later. It’ll be there for you, I promise.
3. Give yourself a little nod. I find this helps as if you’re telling yourself, I’m okay, that’s okay, we’re okay.  Acceptance, baby.
4. See this moment as a collection of the whole. Life doesn’t hang on one moment but a bunch of them. There are great ones and there are ones that suck. Can this be a stroke in painting? Can that stroke add to the work of art? Do you need to get a new canvas? I hear they’re 2-for-1 at Blick’s.
5. Find the space to acknowledge what came up for you in that moment of carnage spillage. Most importantly, let whatever it is be okay. I find it helpful to speak my truth just to myself. Speak honestly and let it be real, raw, freaking terrifying or just plain silly. Say it out loud or write it down.
6. Come back. When the storm has settled, return to the moment with clarity. Forgive yourself without judgement knowing you know yourself a little bit better.

I’m working on these general steps. Baby as they may seem, there’s a lot here – chock-full of fun. Awareness, acceptance, acknowledgement, and other things that start with A. I’ve come face-to-face with a lot of little things turned explosive and it’s caused me to take a step back and evaluate what’s really going on. The trick here is to not get caught up on the details but focus on the thing that made your intuition say what up? Go there. Listen. Act. Most importantly, love.

I’m right there with you. We got this.