2016 ended exactly as it should. A vicious cold stopped me cold in my tracks and made me slow down – something I can’t say I really did the other 51 weeks of the year. The usual guilt and frustration crept in but I was fortunate to still surround myself with friends who let this be okay – understand when I couldn’t make it until midnight on New Years Eve, make me tea, text to check-in and basically give me the permission to not be okay – something I have a hard time doing myself.

2017 is looking pretty damn good and starting in a way that makes evaluate self-talk, self-care, slowing down, listening to my body, the value of my friendships and understand what I need in a given moment and being flexible when the moment looks different that I pictured.

At 00:00 (yes, I operate in military time – a combination of living in the UK and having a VW Beetle that was stuck in this time format) I killed a spider.

I didn’t plan it this way. I jumped out of a hot shower and peer over my shoulder to find an unwanted house guest in the new year. Smash. I glance at the time while toweling off quickly hoping to catch some illegal fireworks or pots and pans clanging on the street but it’s already midnight and the first thing I did was kill an eight-limbed creature. Bravery in the New Year? I’ll go with it.

I’ve been really into the show Casual lately. It’s about three very dysfunctional people and their journeys in life, love and family. Alex’s advice to his sister on managing her social obligations is to “Double book, then choose the most fun thing.” I tend to over-book myself so when it comes time to choosing one, I am usually faced with giving the less-desireable option a wishy-washy RSVP, cancel, or give a yes with the intention of changing it later. None of which I’m proud of.
New year intention  No more of that. Whatever the choice may be, I will choose. I will also communicate honestly, with notice, and without guilt. I will trust that the person I am responding to is mature enough to handle a big-girl response and I’ll feel good about honoring myself.

I’ve had to come face to face with where I’m at with love. Though my heart is still healing, I grow more honest with myself about what I want and what I most value. With family, love has also had to look different. The unconditional kind of love exists here that knows no boundaries nor expectations. I’m lucky to have the best friends that offer their time, ears, hearts and belly laughs. 
New year intention  Be open to love in all its forms – family, friends, lovers. I will do my best to honor my past, but not let it dictate my future and how current or new relationships should look. Be open to things looking different, new and the unexpected. Welcome in new perspectives.

I walked into a Lululemon store to treat myself to some new active-wear. An sales associate who is always eager and willing to explain the different support structures in their athletic bras started a fitting room for me. When I headed back there, two sales associates dressed in athleisure vests and some kind of make-my-ass-look-phenom leggings glanced at me and asked “You’re not, J, are you?” Sure am. And one sales associate pointed to a door with a white-board covered in silly faces surrounding my name.
New year intention   Make eye contact, connect with people, know that it matters. Never under-estimate the value of small connections. These can be invaluable and simply make your day.

I wore sequined pants to a dinner party on New Years Day. It felt great to get a little glammed up for a perfectly wonderful evening of friends gathered on sofas, laughing, touching your pants.
New year intention   Wear more sequins. Okay, maybe  not sequins exactly but wear those things hanging at the end of the closet bar more often. Wear those high heels, those over-the-top earrings, that fuchisa lipstick – on Wednesday. Because I can, becuase it’s fun, because if I treat those novelties in my closet like I did good kitchen knives (wait ’til you move into the city, wait ’til you get your own place, wait ’til you get marr…you get the idea), I won’t get to appreciate them now. And now is all we have. Sequins just got real.

I received some very constructive (at the time I would have called it upsetting or bad) feedback from work several months ago. In the months that followed I finally zipped my ego’s lip and applied the feedback. It’s been amazing to see my professional and personal growth in my role and how I was able to embrace this feedback and not look at it as criticism. It has made me stronger.
New year intention   Everything can be a teacher if you let it. Something I have been learning in my long-term love affair with yoga and why I continue to practice. Things come up in our life and good or bad, they teach us something great or small.

Theodore Roosevelt said Comparison is the thief of joy. I’m competitive in a healthy way but compare in an unhealthy way. I think comparison is a hard thing to work on – I have yet to find a mantra that resonates to bring me back to focusing inward instead of outward.
New year intention  Find the self-love and care I need in a moment where I notice the focus shift outward where it doesn’t serve. Do everything in my power to do what I can with what is in front of me. Cheer on others, share in their joy, and know I am exactly where I am supposed to be. This is my unique journey. I will focus more this year on developing a meditation practice and continue yoga.

2016 was a year to focus on lightness – finding ease in whatever came my way.

2017 is going to be about choosing joy and love, every moment. Lightness will very much be the very thing that illuminates my path, but the focus will be shifted to choice and to actively go in the direction that will bring joy.

I will say this. Minute one of 2017, I killed a spider and I liked it. That right there, was a tiny bit of joy.