It’s a funny thing when the light of the bathroom goes out on you as you’re trying to take a urine test.

An even funnier thing is propping your iPhone flashlight against your overstuffed purse to hopefully complete the daunting task only to realize there are “how are we doing” survey cards atop the toilet. Well, for starters, let’s get some light up in here. Secondly, your attempt at providing me a wipe reminiscent of a steak dinner makes me just want a steak dinner. The opposite of a dark bathroom at 8am. Just saying. Not to worry, just some routine blood tests to keep these levels in check. Let’s hope those iron levels are low so I can actually go grab that steak. Mic drop.

With that rant over (ha!), I have to say my 28 years are shaping up quite nicely. In the past two weeks, I’ve joined a free workout group that couldn’t be more bright (literally, bright), energetic and fun. Oh and they hug. I heard somewhere last week that it just takes seven hugs per day to change a person’s disposition. Consider my disposition a lot happier every Wednesday morning. If you haven’t yet heard or seen November Project, they’re worth hugging.

I also chopped off my hair. It’s sassy, a bit edgy and chic. Yes, those things can co-exist. That or my stylist, Alan, can really throw back my vision back and convince me. Either way, I’m loving it and feeling fresh, confident and a bit more capable of taking on the world one side-part at a time. Also, an old friend and I have reconnected. Hi, Dry shampoo. It’s been since the aisles of Boots in England, hasn’t it? It’s really good to see you.

As I enter into this new age where it suddenly becomes sort of more rational (if not creepy) to look at the ring hand of handsome men, I feel a little nervous and a little okay all at the same time. I go through this circle of having it all figured out and then having it all up in the air again. But in that circle of hot mess lies balance right? We can’t always have it all sorted and we can’t always be up in arms. We fluctuate between moments of hardship and lightness, sadness and laughter, success and failure, effort and ease. Did someone say yoga? It helps me check myself before I wreck myself.

With nights like last night, fighting my way for a 2″ x 2″ square of sidewalk through Chinatown only to get shoved into a parking meter, hopping on a bus with my phone pressed to my nose to read a bummer email, I just wanted to go into a hot, dimly lit room with a bunch of strangers and sweat out control and let in acceptance. In this case, when I’m not trying to aim for a tiny cup, I welcome the absence of light. In these moments, I can let myself shine through.